My advantage is that I am handsome, but my disadvantage is that the handsomeness is not so obvious。

　　2 ：談錢不傷感情，談感情最他媽傷錢。

　　It does not hurt feelings, when it comes to money, but it indeed damn cost money when it comes to feelings。

　　3 ：我詛咒你一輩子買方便面沒有調(diào)料包。

　　I curse your buying instant noodles without getting flavoring bags。

　　4 ：會計(jì)說：“你晚點(diǎn)來領(lǐng)工資吧，我這沒零錢。”

　　The accountant said : “Could you please come for your earnings later, because I have no change here?”

　　5 ：雖然你身上噴了古龍水，但我還是能隱約聞到一股人渣味兒。

　　Although you wear some cologne, I can still vaguely smell a scummy whiff out of you。

　　6 ：有一次我上街，一群女孩把我攔住，她們說我?guī)?，我不承認(rèn)，她們就打我，還說我虛偽。

　　When I went shopping one day, a group of girls stopped me, saying that I was handsome .But I denied it, and then they hit me and said I am hypocritical。

　　7 ：沖杯三鹿給黨喝。

　　Pour boiling water into a cup of Sanlu milk powder, and give it to the political party。

　　8 ：史上最神秘的部門：有關(guān)部門。

　　The most mysterious department in the history is the department concerned。

　　9 ：我這輩子只有兩件事不會：這也不會，那也不會。

　　There are two things that I could not do in my life –I could not do this and I could not do that。

　　10：人家有的是背景，而我有的是背影。

　　The others have their background, while what I have is the sight of my back。

　　11：別把蝦米不當(dāng)海鮮。

　　Never treat a dried shrimp not as seafood。

　　12：我是天使，回不去天堂是因?yàn)轶w重的原因。

　　I am an angel, and the reason why I can not go back to heaven is the problem of my weight。

　　13：騙子太多，傻子明顯不夠用了。

　　Since there are so many deceivers, it is very obvious that idiots are not enough。

　　14：你的手機(jī)比話費(fèi)還便宜。

　　Your phone is much cheaper than the phone words fee。

　　15：不怕偷兒帶工具，就怕偷兒懂科技！

　　We never be afraid that thieves carry their tools, but afraid they know some kind of technology。