當你們正打算為2012立新年志愿時,不要忘記了你們的關系改善。一起制定計劃可以很大程度上改善你們在新的一年的關系。
Below, Terri Orbuch, author of 5 Simple Steps to Take Your Marriage from Good to Great, offers seven resolutions to help improve your relationship.
接下來,《5個簡單步驟讓你們的婚姻更加美好》的作者苔莉.歐布奇提供了7種方法可以幫助改善你們之間的關系。
Even if you don’t adopt these goals, take some time to consider your relationship priorities and values and figure out what goals you’d like to set as a couple.
即使你們不采納這些計劃,請花一點時間思考下你們的關系優(yōu)先與價值,琢磨一下你們作為一對夫妻,愿意設置什么計劃。
1. Every day spend 10 minutes chatting with your partner.
Days can fly by without couples having any meaningful conversation. Orbuch suggested “talking to your partner about anything under the sun, except kids, work, household responsibilities, or your relationship.” The goal is to get to know each other, she said. Be creative and have fun with your talk, she added.
1. 每天花10分鐘和伴侶聊天
夫妻兩人可能一個有意義的對話都沒說,一天就過去了。歐布奇建議“和伴侶談論天底下的任何話題,但不是孩子,工作,家庭責任或者你們的關系?!边@樣做是為了了解對方,她說并補充道,要讓你們的話題幽默點,有創(chuàng)意點。
2. Thank your partner daily.
Do you remember the last time you thanked your partner? Expressing gratitude shows your partner that you value them. You can express gratitude by complimenting your partner, such as “You’re so handsome;” “Good morning, gorgeous;” “You’re the best dad/mom,” Orbuch said. Or you can give thanks by taking action. Orbuch suggested everything from making your partner’s favorite dessert to gassing up their car to texting them to sending a thank-you card in the mail.
2. 每天感謝你的伴侶2
你還記得上次感謝你的伴侶是什么時候嗎?表達謝意是告訴你的伴侶你很重視它們。歐布奇說,你可以通過贊美你的伴侶來表達謝意,例如“你很紳士;”“早上好,美麗的女神;”“你是個好爸爸/媽媽?!被蛘吣憧梢酝ㄟ^行動來給予謝意。歐布奇建議可以做你的伴侶最喜歡的甜點,為他們的汽車加油,甚至寫封郵件發(fā)送致謝卡。
3. Ditch technology during dinner at least once a week.
Tuning into technology, whether it’s your cell phone, computer or MP3 player, means tuning out from your partner. This prevents you from fully focusing on and enjoying each other’s company. As Orbuch explained, “This meal is just for the two of you to focus on each other and ask each other questions about the day, week, or goals for the future.”
3. 每周至少一次在晚餐期間拋開科技產(chǎn)品
不論是你的手機,電腦或者mp3播放器,使用科技產(chǎn)品就意味著拋棄你的伴侶。這會阻礙你專心致志和享受對方的陪伴。正如歐布奇所解釋的,“這頓飯是只是為了你們兩個能夠?qū)W⒂趯Ψ?,詢問對方一些關于這一天,這一周的一些問題或者未來的計劃等?!?B style="BACKGROUND: none transparent scroll repeat 0% 0%" class="label bg2" jQuery1325833561062="58">
4. Sweat or get scared together once a week.
Arousal-producing activities are known for perking up relationships. According to Orbuch’s research, chemicals linked to fear or exercise are similar to the chemicals that promote sexual arousal. “Rent a scary movie, ride a roller coaster, go to the gym together, or find another activity that causes your adrenaline to surge,” Orbuch said.
4. 每周一起出汗或緊張一次
眾所周知,覺醒形成的活動可以振作雙方關系。根據(jù)歐布奇的研究,由于害怕或者運動所產(chǎn)生的化學物質(zhì)類似于促進性覺醒的化學物質(zhì)。她說:“可以一起租個恐怖電影看,玩過山車,去體育館或者找些其他能使腎上腺激素猛增的活動?!?B style="BACKGROUND: url(http://image48.360doc.com/DownloadImg/2012/01/0615/20565452_1.png) no-repeat left top" class="label bg2" jQuery1325833561062="63">
5. Designate a night when you don’t cook.
If you’re already tired, cooking and cleaning can potentially ruin a romantic evening. So Orbuch suggested keeping it simple by getting takeout. This way you can focus all your attention on each other.
5.指定一個不用下廚的晚上
如果你們已經(jīng)很累了,下廚和洗碗可能會毀掉一個浪漫的夜晚。所以歐布奇建議帶外賣讓晚餐制作變得簡單些。這樣你們可以集中所有精力在對方身上。
6. Try a brand-new activity once a month.
Doing new activities together helps jolt couples out of a stale routine. Another plus is that it can feel like a first date, Orbuch said. For instance, you might try eating at a new restaurant, visiting a museum you haven’t been to or taking a cooking or dance class, Orbuch said.
6. 每個月嘗試一次新鮮活動
一起做一件新活動可以幫助夫妻擺脫一成不變的日程。另一個有利因素是它可以讓人感覺像是第一次約會,歐布奇說道。例如你們可以嘗試在新開店餐廳吃飯,參觀從來沒有去過的博物館,或者參與一次廚藝班或舞蹈班。
7. Take turns planning time together.
“Reciprocity is a great way to strengthen your emotional connection,” Orbuch said. This also helps couples get out of a rut, especially if one partner tends to make all the plans. You can have each partner write down a date idea and swap notes, Orbuch said.
7. 一起輪流安排時間
歐布奇說:“互動是增強你們的感情聯(lián)系的好途徑?!边@也可以幫助夫妻們擺脫常規(guī),尤其如果其中一個視圖全盤計劃時。你們可以讓對方寫下日程安排的想法然后交換筆記。”歐布奇這么說。
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