不變的是李華，變的是你每次起起伏伏的作文分?jǐn)?shù)。猿輔導(dǎo)二模已經(jīng)過(guò)去一個(gè)星期，不管你是因?yàn)榭挤植桓叨诡^喪氣，還是因?yàn)槌煽?jī)進(jìn)步而歡呼雀躍，積攢經(jīng)驗(yàn)，重新出發(fā)才是對(duì)待模擬考的正確方式。

情緒終將散去，留下的只有優(yōu)秀的筆跡。下面，跟著小猿一起來(lái)看看二模英語(yǔ)高分作文究竟長(zhǎng)什么樣？

先來(lái)回顧一下作文題目：

書(shū)面表達(dá)（滿分25分）

假如你是李華，你的美國(guó)朋友Jack正在學(xué)習(xí)漢語(yǔ)，看了電視節(jié)目“中國(guó)詩(shī)詞大會(huì)”(Chinese Poetry Conference)之后，非常喜歡中國(guó)詩(shī)詞，因而詢問(wèn)你最喜歡的中國(guó)詩(shī)人及原因。請(qǐng)就此給他回一封電子郵件。要點(diǎn)如下：

1. 你喜歡的詩(shī)人；

2. 喜歡他的原因；

3. 歡迎Jack來(lái)訪。

注意：

1. 詞數(shù)100左右；

2. 可以適當(dāng)增加細(xì)節(jié)，以使行文連貫；

3. 開(kāi)頭和結(jié)語(yǔ)已為你寫(xiě)好。

分?jǐn)?shù)：23.5  作者：Abigail

It is really to my delight to hear from you again. Undoubtedly, I will answer your questions as specifically as I can, which will hopefully promote your understanding about ancient Chinese poetry.

To begin with, the fact interests me a lot that you are learning Chinese and have kept watching the TV show, Chinese Poetry Conference, which serves as a great fascination to me. Speaking of my favorite poet, I'd like to introduce one of the most influential poets in the Chinese history, Li Bai, to you. Actually, the reason why I think so highly of him is rather simple. I admire him for his genius mastery of words and glorious imagination. What's more, it is his overwhelming expression of his inner feelings that appeals to most of us. Subsequently, he has become immortal, living in all the masterpieces created by his brilliant mind.

All in all, the beauty existing in Chinese poetry is too mysterious to explore it all. The more you learn about it, the more you shall benefit from it. You are free to ask any questions about Chinese literature, and I sincerely invite you to visit China some day!

老師評(píng)語(yǔ)：

第一段表達(dá)了收到對(duì)方來(lái)信的喜悅及寫(xiě)信的目的；

第二段由詩(shī)詞大會(huì)引出自己喜愛(ài)的詩(shī)人李白，并介紹了自己喜歡他的原因；

第三段總結(jié)了全文并表示希望對(duì)方來(lái)中國(guó)。

文章亮句：

1. To begin with, the fact interests me a lot that you are learning Chinese and have kept watching the TV show, Chinese Poetry Conference, which serves as a great fascination to me.首先，聽(tīng)聞你在學(xué)習(xí)中文并收看了中國(guó)詩(shī)詞大會(huì)，這讓我很感興趣，這個(gè)節(jié)目也令我很著迷。

該句話綜合運(yùn)用了同位語(yǔ)從句、同位語(yǔ)和定語(yǔ)從句，從句運(yùn)用的得心應(yīng)手也很恰當(dāng)。

2. What's more, it is his overwhelming expression of his inner feelings that appeals to most of us. 此外，正是他對(duì)于內(nèi)心情感令人無(wú)法抗拒的表達(dá)吸引了我們絕大多數(shù)人。

該句使用了強(qiáng)調(diào)句，并嫻熟地使用了overwhelming, appeal等高級(jí)詞匯，讓辭藻更豐富。

3. Subsequently, he has become immortal, living in all the masterpieces created by his brilliant mind. 后來(lái)，他成為了不朽的人物，活在由他絕妙思想創(chuàng)作而來(lái)的偉大詩(shī)篇中。

這句寫(xiě)的非常精妙，既說(shuō)明了李白詩(shī)作的精妙，又表達(dá)了他思想的偉大和不朽。

4. All in all, the beauty existing in Chinese poetry is too mysterious to explore it all. 總而言之，中國(guó)詩(shī)歌之美太神秘因而無(wú)法一探究竟。

全文結(jié)構(gòu)較為嚴(yán)謹(jǐn)，層次清晰，從句運(yùn)用得當(dāng)，高級(jí)詞匯的使用也十分恰當(dāng)，如果能適當(dāng)增加文中銜接詞的使用將取得更好的成績(jī)。

分?jǐn)?shù)：23.5  作者：53

I have learnt that you are interested in Chinese poems very much after watching Chinese Poetry Conference. Since you like to know my favorite Chinese poet, I have decided to write this letter to introduce Lin Zexu, who is a famous poet lived in China about 200 years ago.

In my mind, Lin Zexu is a symbol of patriotism in the history of China. During his life, he made lots of efforts to prevent China from being invaded by European countries, which were much stronger than China. Although he set many campaigns to fight against western invaders despite difficulties, he held opinions that China should open to the world and conduct free trade with foreign countries, which was very advanced in Qing Dynasty.

I wish you could visit China in the next summer holiday, and therefore I can travel with you to enjoy the beautiful scenery and ancient cultures of China. I firmly believe that you will love it.

老師評(píng)語(yǔ)：

第一段介紹了寫(xiě)信的背景，并簡(jiǎn)單地介紹了自己即將介紹的詩(shī)人；

第二段介紹了林則徐的事跡；

第三段表達(dá)了希望對(duì)方來(lái)華的愿望，并簡(jiǎn)要地介紹了可能安排的活動(dòng)，更具吸引力和說(shuō)服力。

文章亮句：

1. Since you like to know my favorite Chinese poet, I have decided to write this letter to introduce Lin Zexu, who is a famous poet lived in China about 200 years ago. 既然你想要了解我喜歡的詩(shī)人，我決定寫(xiě)信介紹一下林則徐，他是一位中國(guó)200年前的著名詩(shī)人。

該句運(yùn)用了原因狀語(yǔ)從句和定語(yǔ)從句，起到了良好地承上啟下的作用。

2. In my mind, Lin Zexu is a symbol of patriotism in the history of China. 在我看來(lái)，林則徐在中國(guó)歷史上是愛(ài)國(guó)者的代表人物。

該句用了a symbol of patriotism，點(diǎn)明了林則徐的愛(ài)國(guó)情懷，為整段的中心句。

3. he held opinions that China should open to the world and conduct free trade with foreign countries, which was very advanced in Qing Dynasty. 他認(rèn)為中國(guó)應(yīng)該對(duì)外開(kāi)放并與外國(guó)進(jìn)行自由貿(mào)易，這一點(diǎn)在清朝是十分先進(jìn)的思想。

該句用了同位語(yǔ)從句，表明了林則徐先進(jìn)的思想，后面用定語(yǔ)從句進(jìn)行評(píng)述。但后面的which was應(yīng)該改為which were。

整體上，詞匯基礎(chǔ)很好，也能較靈活使用高級(jí)詞匯；句法基礎(chǔ)較為扎實(shí)。但文章中部應(yīng)適當(dāng)加上銜接詞，讓文章條理更加清晰。

分?jǐn)?shù)：21.5  作者king（英語(yǔ)單科第一名）

Glad to hear from you! With regard to my favorite Chinese poet, I'd like to introduce Du Fu to you.

Du Fu was a distinguished poet of the Tang Dynasty. Gifted in literature, he left us with numerous poems which remained fresh throughout the years. But there are other reasons for my affection towards him. 

For one thing, Du Fu was a strong-willed man who kept the enthusiasm for writing despite the hardships he encountered. For another, most of his poems revealed great concerns about his country as well as other people. It always makes me moved to read these poems.

I hope you can come to visit me soon and know more about Chinese poetry.

老師評(píng)語(yǔ)：

第一段開(kāi)門(mén)見(jiàn)山地說(shuō)明了寫(xiě)信的目的；

第二、三段介紹了自己喜歡詩(shī)人杜甫的原因，從其詩(shī)歌和人格魅力兩方面；

最后一段表明了自己希望對(duì)方來(lái)訪的愿望。

文章亮句：

1. Gifted in literature, he left us with numerous poems which remained fresh throughout the years.杜甫在文學(xué)方面很有天賦，他給我們留下了大量的詩(shī)句，多年過(guò)去，這些詩(shī)歌仍然鮮活。

該句運(yùn)用了非謂語(yǔ)動(dòng)詞作狀語(yǔ)以及定語(yǔ)從句，結(jié)構(gòu)緊湊。

2. Du Fu was a strong-willed man who kept the enthusiasm for writing despite the hardships he encountered. 杜甫是一個(gè)意志堅(jiān)定的人，盡管他遇到了各種苦難，但仍保持著對(duì)寫(xiě)作的熱情。

該句運(yùn)用了定語(yǔ)從句，進(jìn)一步解釋strong-willed（意志堅(jiān)定），后面使用了讓步狀語(yǔ)，并用了短的定語(yǔ)從句進(jìn)行修飾，非常自然。

整篇文章條理清晰，高級(jí)詞匯運(yùn)用嫻熟，綜合運(yùn)用了從句及非謂語(yǔ)等高級(jí)結(jié)構(gòu)。若適當(dāng)增加一些從句的使用，文章會(huì)取得更好的成績(jī)；過(guò)渡詞和銜接詞的使用較好。

怎么樣，是不是干貨滿滿，記得用小本本記下來(lái)哦～

順便港一句，2017高考猿輔導(dǎo)第三次模擬考試（英語(yǔ)單科）正在火熱報(bào)名中，高考聽(tīng)力主播，升級(jí)版?zhèn)€人成績(jī)報(bào)告is watching you！

猿輔導(dǎo)三模（只考英語(yǔ)）正在火熱報(bào)名中，點(diǎn)擊打開(kāi)邀請(qǐng)函

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