與多種類型的朋友交往

　　Everyone needs a best friend. But early on in the school year,your kid needs to make as many friends as possible. Young students tend to latch on to one friend. Unfortunately, there will come aday when your kid’s sole friend plays with another child and it will happen–I see ‘best friends’ form and break up daily. Your kid will feel left out, betrayed–maybe even isolated. In short, it’ll destroy their day. If you explain early on that it’s OK to play with different friends, they’ll be more likely to find anotherfriend to play with instead of sulking in a corner。

　　每個(gè)人都需要一個(gè)好朋友。但是在開(kāi)始進(jìn)入學(xué)校的時(shí)候，你的孩子就應(yīng)該有很多朋友。小孩子往往只喜歡和他其中的一個(gè)朋友黏在一起。但是將來(lái)有一天，孩子唯一的那個(gè)朋友也會(huì)和別的孩子玩到一起，這是可能會(huì)發(fā)生的-----我看到過(guò)“好朋友”也有鬧別扭的。你的孩子會(huì)覺(jué)得自己被拋棄了，被背叛了---甚至還可能會(huì)有被孤立的感覺(jué)。簡(jiǎn)而言之，這樣會(huì)毀掉他的生活。要是你在很早的時(shí)候就對(duì)他說(shuō)過(guò)：和很多不一樣的朋友一起玩也是好的，他們更可能愿意找其他的朋友一起玩，而不僅僅是只和一個(gè)朋友玩耍。

　　2.Good Friends are Proactive Friends

　　好朋友得是那種積極主動(dòng)地朋友

　　Teach your child to go out of their way to be a good friend toothers. You can begin this by pointing out helpful opportunities。“Sarah, James needs help tying his shoes–you know how to do that–goask him if he needs help?！?Or “Alex, I bet Lilly would like it ifyou help her open her milk carton。” Then praise them for their kindness afterwards. Soon, Sarah and Alex will find ways to help on their own–it’s all about reinforcing good habits they don’t knowe xist。

　　把你的孩子教育成那種對(duì)別人來(lái)說(shuō)可能會(huì)是好朋友的那種人。你可以從點(diǎn)出那些可以幫助別人的機(jī)會(huì)開(kāi)始?！吧?，吉姆斯試鞋子需要你的幫助---你知道怎么做吧---去問(wèn)問(wèn)他是否需要幫助?！被蛘摺鞍怂?，我敢說(shuō)要是你能幫麗麗打開(kāi)她的牛奶盒的話，她一定會(huì)很開(kāi)心的。”最后一定要揚(yáng)他。然后，莎拉，艾利克斯會(huì)很快的找到幫助他人的方法--這些都是在他們不知情的情況下就能幫助他們養(yǎng)成的好習(xí)慣。

　　3.Mean Words are Unacceptable, Period

　　任何時(shí)候都不允許他說(shuō)刻薄的話

　　Kids tend to say some pretty bad things when they’re feeling insecure or trying to control the situation. On the playground,I’ve heard, “If you don’t do (blank)， I won’t be your friend!” or“I don’t like you, I like Chloe now. She’s my new best friend!”This behavior has to be shut down immediately. Many adults believe these tactics are typical child behavior. But those mean little kids turn into middle-school bullies who become mean adults. Stopit young。

　　當(dāng)小孩子覺(jué)得沒(méi)有安全感的時(shí)候，或者他想掌控全局的時(shí)候，他可能會(huì)說(shuō)一些很不好的話。在操場(chǎng)上，我曾聽(tīng)見(jiàn)過(guò)，“要是你不做，我們就不是朋友了?！被蛘摺拔也幌矚g你了，我現(xiàn)在喜歡的是克洛伊，她才是我最好的朋友?！边@些行為得馬上制止，很多家長(zhǎng)[微博]都認(rèn)為這是孩子很典型的行為。但是這些刻薄的小孩子，長(zhǎng)大之后就會(huì)變成那種會(huì)欺負(fù)別人的人。所以要在孩子還小的時(shí)候就給糾正過(guò)來(lái)。

　　4.Speak Up For Themselves

　　讓他們表達(dá)出自己

　　This skill may be difficult for most kids new to the school environment, particularly if they are introverted. However, it is imperative to teach your child to verbally tell other students tocease harassing behavior. You’re not always going to be at school to protect your kid when things go down, but if your child tells you of a classmate who plays rough, teach them to say, “Stop pushing my that way. I don’t like it?！?/p>

　　這一點(diǎn)可能對(duì)大多數(shù)剛到學(xué)校的孩子來(lái)說(shuō)會(huì)很困難，而那種比較內(nèi)向的就更甚。但是，必須要教會(huì)你的孩子能夠口頭阻止別人的騷擾行為，要教會(huì)他們說(shuō)，“不要那樣推我，我不喜歡那樣?！?/p>

　　5.Speak Up for Others

　　能夠?yàn)閯e人說(shuō)話

　　This is controversial because families often teach their children to stay out of situations that don’t involve them. I whole heartedly disagree. Edmund Burke once said, “The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing?！監(jiān)bviously, Kindergartners are not evil! Well, most anyway–I kid.However, the sentiment remains the same: when you see someone hurting someone, you step in! Teach your children to be the protector of the little guy。

　　這一點(diǎn)是有些分歧的，因?yàn)楹芏嗉议L(zhǎng)都教孩子要學(xué)會(huì)置身事外，不要把自己也卷進(jìn)去。我是滿心的不贊成這點(diǎn)的。埃德蒙伯克曾說(shuō)過(guò)，“邪能勝正的唯一情況就是，好人的不作為。”很顯然，幼兒園教師不是惡魔。但是，不管怎么樣，我是這樣教育我的孩子的。不管怎么樣，心情是一樣的：當(dāng)你看見(jiàn)一個(gè)人在打另一個(gè)人的時(shí)候，你一定會(huì)上前阻止的。讓你的孩子學(xué)著保護(hù)他人吧。

本文選自五月的天蘭蘭的的博客，點(diǎn)擊查看原文。